By Erin O’Neal
I don’t want to go to Pride anymore. I don’t want it. It’s hot, there’s tons of assholes there, most of them aren’t even gay or lesbian, let alone bisexual, queer or transgender and the ones that are tend to be those “poster gays.” You know, the ones with lots of disposable income, that go on gay cruises and have personal trainers and white spandex boxer briefs that show their wangs. I don’t want it. I don’t want to accept the glad hand of corporate entities realizing there’s damn good money to be made but courting the gay community and they don’t even have to really try, just smile and wave and watch the dollars come rolling in.
I’m not that gay. I don’t want to be that gay and I’m certainly not proud of those gays. Sure, I’ll defend my stereotypical and self-appointed straight acting (lol no) straight looking (not hardly) masculine sisters against homophobes nonetheless, even though they’re fine with leaving those on the small side of the financial line behind and in the cold. Because god forbid I let the patriarchy win, even if it means screwing myself.
I don’t want to go to Pride anymore. I want to have a Gay Rage.
GAY RAGE! I want to make floats that look like something out of a Kenneth Anger film that make “good, church-going people” scared for their lives. I want flames shooting 10 feet high in the air and spectators wondering if that is blood and where is it coming from. I want an effigy of Richard Simmons shooting gay lasers out of its eyes that sterilize people with Mitt Romney bumper stickers on their SUVs. I want Gay Rage to go through Wrigleyville during the Crosstown Classic. I want it run over every drunk jackass that say “no homo” when they grab their other dude-bro’s asses. GAY RAGE with a PA so powerful children all over the city cover their ears because Iggy Pop can be heard bellowing from miles away. A sharply dressed paramilitary unit leads a recruitment march with fake guns and whatever macho bullshit the Armed Forces use to make kids think being a soldier is a really great idea. I want to cause waves of panic about faggot terrorists invading America. I want to make everyone really, really uncomfortable and scared with all this anger I’ve stored up for 30 something years.
But then I think about sitting in a press conference with those gay and lesbian families that brought the lawsuit against the State of Illinois for discriminating against their marriage licenses. And I do think it would be much better to get rid of the perks of being married instead of getting the right to marry but those fucking DOMA assholes wouldn’t do that. Those fuckers want the rights and don’t want to let us have them so now I have to fight for something I don’t even believe in because it will take even longer to do the really right thing. I have to participate in the stupid show whether I want to or not. If I GAY RAGE and set the “gay rights” movement back 50 years, I fuck over those families who need this shit. It’s not fair, why do I have to keep everybody else’s shit in mind? When do I get to mindlessly care about my one issue? All this “community” thinking is for the birds. No wonder I’ve got so much rage, I’ve little power and few allies, but a girl can dream…